Last night I had a dream, a dream so vivid and scary, I was panting when I was suddenly awoken by the sound of explosions in my dream.
My brother and I was living in a house in a peaceful middle class area, my mom was either visiting or she was also living in the same house, can’t remember the detail that well.
My brother was busy playing PC games on my server while I was having a workout session in another room when I suddenly heard my mom’s voice screaming something about the “War of Gaza”, her voice was overwhelmed by the sound of tanks and troops surrounding the house.
Troops would then lie down outside the house on a piece of open field that was raised slightly higher than the height of the windows, scan the house with some long distance x-ray contraption gizmo and raise their machine guns with laser beams which was jumping around in my room with the target occasionally being on my body.
Every 5 minutes I’ll see a different target targeting objects in the house (it’s a red plus sign encircled with the line ends of the plus ending in a perpendicular line that would make a square if you extend them), while some sergeant would scream, “BLACK BOMB” and you would hear that distinct sound of a mortar being launched but it never exploded or reached the ground for that matter.
I was packing my clothes in a bag to get away from the house when I heard gunshots coming from the next room; my brother was playing war games on the server PC with the volume at maximum, it sounded so realistic that I thought they were starting to infiltrate the house when my mom screamed at him to turn down the volume as the troops might think we’re armed. Then some random sheepdog ran into the room which looked just like my grandmother’s deceased sheepdog, completely random.
While packing, I realized that I didn’t have a single piece of clothing that wasn’t torn or ripped to shreds, I started packing and just then I heard the troops raising their machine guns while the sergeant shouted “BLACK BOMB” … it suddenly got dark and then I woke up.
At first I though this was just a dream, but after writing it down, I came to realize that my subconscious was trying to communicate a message to me …
The house symbolizes an image of one-self, the war trying to destroy the house is an abstraction of outer-conflict which threatens to destroy the self-image, the inner conflict does not exist as the war-games being played is fake, there is no inner conflict, only my brother playing the war games. Also, one’s brother is a symbol of a certain personality trait inside yourself, since he was playing with fire and being a daredevil in the most inappropriate situation, I believe the personality trait which is causing this feeling of doubt (whether there is inner conflict or not), is the fact that I’m currently putting a lot on the line while taking on big corporations head-on. The dog symbolizes rage or suppressed anger coming out into the open due to what is happening all around me. Black refers to negative emotions while the bombs all refer to anger / pressure building up, up to the point of literally exploding with anger or from pressure building up. The clothes I was trying to pack in refers to my persona and attitude towards life, if the outer conflict destroys my self-image (house), all I have left is torn clothes or an attitude that I’m used to life’s hardship by now and more of it is welcome, although it still terrifies me in the dream.
What I believe my subconsciouses is trying to tell me is that I should let go of all the pressure building up and anger building up from not getting things to run smoothly my way, the inner conflict I can control and I have the right to control it as it is happening inside my house, but the coming outer conflict I have very little control over (negotiations with companies trying to steal my ideas or trying to rip me off with low class offers) and if it means packing my bag with torn clothes and leaving the house (maintain the same life attitude as always even if they destroy my self-image in the process), I should do it and not look back as the anger and pressure building up could destroy me anytime if I cling onto maintaining a self-image (the black mortars not detonating immediately). I believe this is a warning about massive changes about to happen in my life and how I should be handling them.
Wish me luck for tomorrow, I was terrified about screwing up the outcome until figuring out this dream, one should not cling onto an outcome as a measure of success, but rather dare to dream, give it your best and if you do screw up, you didn’t really screw up, you only had an expensive training course on how not to screw up!
